Life

Let me start by saying that I grew up in Detroit, so my view may be (is likely) skewed by the Big 3 and union influence. I find it is only fair to be upfront and present my potential bias before you read on.

No, I am not going to argue the value of unions or American manufacturing jobs. On the contrary, I am going to pass judgment on the next generation or two. There is no doubt that a majority of the generation of unions and manufacturing are tough, hardworking individuals who understand the value of a good job and a dollar earned.

But, did they do a disservice to the younger generations by providing endless support and comfort? Have the days of “everyone wins” and “no one fails” created a nation of wimps?

Sure not everyone grows up this way, and not everyone feels entitled, but the “I need to be valued” club is growing at alarming rates.

Since when did our college educations and our jobs become the place for fulfillment? I often hear the entitlement crowd crowing about how they need to feel that they are making a difference. They want to leave their mark on this world, blah, blah. Of course you do, don’t we all?

But, why do some expect it from their job? Why not volunteer, work with your church or community organization, contribute to a political or social cause that you value, or travel to spread good will to the less fortunate? Why should you be paid to be a good citizen or neighbor? Seriously.

Stop looking to get paid for what you should be living, and accept payment for doing a job. Stop wasting your time majoring in subjects like social welfare, generic marketing, and music, and start learning math and science.

It’s fine to have passions and hobbies. But as we continue to major in the feel-good subjects and seek fulfillment from our jobs, we continue to lose our status in the the world and we become less competitive in technology and the things that rule the world economy.

It takes money to live the lifestyles we are accustomed to, and as our commitment to research and technology declines so does our ability to be charitable. In other words, the ability to do fulfilling work will be stifled by the inability to compete in the world market.

So, to all those in the “fulfillment” generation/club, get a job, work hard, be grateful for it, and spend the money you earn on those activities that fill your emotional needs. You’ll be amazed at how much of a difference you can make in society when you have a good job albeit just a job.

Such a simple saying with a powerful meaning. Doesn’t that meaning change depending on the experience to which you apply it?

Sure, I often say that if I am terminally ill, I’d be better off not knowing until the end. All the suffering and pain that we put people through to prolong the inevitable. All the worrying and fretting about something over which I have no control. I’ll take that ignorance…maybe…

But, what about the ills of society – poverty, illness, abuse, starvation. All of this happens in our own back yards every day, but millions go on as if it is not there.  Is it easier to go about my day without thinking about the cold and lonely homeless man, or to eat my fabulous dinner without thinking of the children going to bed hungry tonight? Sure. it’s easier, but is it really bliss?

How many people do you know that have been homeless, hungry, struggled with mental illness or addicition, lost their job. Life deals some pretty nasty blows when we least expect them.

I pose this question: When life deals you one of those nasty blows, do you want to be the person who always turned the other cheek and embraced the ignorance is bliss mentality? Or, do you want to be the person who reached out to others in their time of need and tried to make a difference?

I believe that man’s greatest enemy must be fear. Nothing like fear can bring even the strongest of men to his knees. Fear grips us with a strength beyond comprehension.  If we are so aware of this power, then why do we allow our fears to rear their heads?

Think of all the examples of how people use fear throughout our society:

• Governments and tyrannies use fear to control their people and other governments.

• Parents and teachers use fear to scare children into submission and make them act in certain ways.

• Crimes are committed every day based on fear and intimidation.

• Many religions use fear to direct and control their followers.

• Businesses and bosses use fear to keep employees quite and obedient.

The examples are endless, but the most powerful and most important fear is the one which lives with inside each of us. The fear we have of ourselves failing, or succeeding, or of others not approving of our behavior or beliefs.

Imagine the things you could accomplish, or already could have accomplished, were it not for your fears…

A few things I might have done or would do are:

• To dance with reckless abandon whenever I get the urge. )

• Pursued a career in international journalism and worked on the front lines of reporting.

• Moved to New York City.

• Go on to law school and work for the Innocence Project.

It’s not to say that these are regrets or even things that I cannot still do. But I think it is important to acknowledge fears, or things we have not done out of fear,  so they do not become regrets and we learn from those experiences to avoid repeating them.

When your greatest foe discovers your greatest fear, you are defeated.

1. Swing on the swings at a park.

2. Look through old pictures and talk about the memories.

3. Skip. – Skipping is so fun!

4. Dig into the earth and plant more good things: veggies, flowers, trees, plants.

5. Stretch. I watch my pets stretch every day, but I struggle to follow their lead.

6. Sit in silence and let the sun warm me through.

7. Eat dinner to candlelight and soft music.

8. Study geography and learn about other cultures.

9. Spend time with and listen to elderly people.

10. Avoid the daily news.

The president recently signed a bill to allow funding for stem cell research. The bill opened the door for scientists to use the hundreds of embryos destined for dumpsters behind clinics for studying. I am confused by the vehement opposition to this type of research. Isn’t the potential development of a cure for cancer or blindness a more virtuous purpose for those cells headed to the trash?

We might be a long way from the paralyzed taking their first steps, but then again, we might not. Nothing proves more promising to reaching these goals than stem cell research, including the embryionic type.

You know, the same people that oppose stem cell research for moral or religious beliefs, see no problem with the reason this surplus of embryos exists; Doctors “making” babies. If the belief is that life and death are truely the will of God (any God you choose), then pregnancy should not result from scientific interference including invetro and fertility drugs.

But, this double-standard is pervasive in the issue of life. If life and death are truely God’s will (or a natural process), then Terry Schiavo should have died 15 years before she actually did. However, lifers were out in full force fighting for her scientifically-controlled existence.

The bottom line is that there is a lot of gray area in this issue. As uncomfortable as some scientific research might make some, it may improve the lives of many who are suffering. In fact, as scientific discoveries continue proving to us every day, it does and will continue to improve the lives of the living.

Every one is entitled to their own moral judgement and religious (or non-religious) beliefs. You and your loved ones (or any other person) are not being hurt by this research. In fact, it is likely that someone you love will benefit from the findings someday.

“If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.” – Thomas Jefferson

A new poll found that 1/3 of Americans could not name the three branches of government, but 3/4 could name an American Idol judge.

There is such an element of fear in our society that I could write three posts a day and never cover it all. Why are we afraid? What aren’t we afraid of?

Every day the news tells us about the crime in our communities; the kidnappings, the murders, the accidents, and everything in between. Many Americans only get their news from TV. TV news is built for profit. Built for sensationalism because it sells. Would it really be as interesting if they reported that everything was good, and all those “rates” were dropping?

Well, for starters telling you that crime rates were dropping or leveling off would be speaking the truth. Since the 1980’s, violent crime rates have consistently gone down or remained the same, even when population growth is taken into consideration. Have a look for yourself – Go to www.census.gov, and search on crime rates. It’s all there. The facts.

There are not predators on every corner waiting to steal your child, but you wouldn’t know that if you watch your local nightly news or the ever-sensational Nancy Grace. They would have you believe that your child must be kept under lock and key where you can see them 24 hours a day.

Some think that driving down a specific street means certain death by random gunfire. The majority of shootings occur between people who know each other. Contrary to popular belief, there are not people just waiting on street corners to shoot at passers by.

Those are just the crimes. Our fears run deep. From different cultures and beliefs to medical advancements and technology, I’ll make an attempt to make you think about your fears and those around you. Are they valid? Are they created by sensationalism? What facts support or discredit your fears?

In other words, do they hold a bit of sanity or are they pure insanity?

During the past few presidential elections, there has been a lot of talk about having a beer with the candidates. Pollsters claimed that George W. Bush won both of his terms in part because he was the candidate that most Americans would prefer to make a toast with. Never mind that he doesn’t drink.

I just recently heard a bit on NPR about sipping suds with the President Obama. I get it – He is a cool cat. And, George Bush would surely make you laugh and spit beer out your nose with one of his Bush-isms.

How and when did we determine the measure of a president based on whether we want to get drunk with them? That’s what I don’t get.  I can think of plenty of people that I would love to have a beer with, but the president? Do people actually vote with that kind of thinking in mind? I can picture it now: Asking Mr. Candidate about his view on North Korea with Sweet Home Alabama blaring out of the jukebox, college girls “woo-ing” and slamming shots in the corner, and the cloud of smoke hanging just above your heads.

If so, I am afraid. Maybe a better “social” measure for a good president would be one you want to have a coffee with in your local coffee shop. At least the image of a coffee shop provides a more intellectual view: people playing chess, a local musician strumming at his/her guitar, people reading the latest books, conversations about current events and philosphy.

This beer buddy vs. coffee friend measure exemplifies this country’s divide between the intellectual elite and average joe. Frankly, I don’t want my beer buddies making the decisions that the President is required to make. I want a President who is surrounded by educated individuals who are willing to challenge him intellectually. Not those who want to challenge him to an arm wrestling contest.

Don’t get me wrong. I love to tip back a few, sing along to the cheesy jukebox music, and watch the local drunks act like fools. Shoot, I have been that fool. However, when it comes to the person running this country, I’ll take the guy that seems like a good coffee buddy that wants to get knee-deep in public policy. Even if some might call him “uppity” or elitist.

So, while I think President Obama might also be a good bar buddy, I’ll stick to the vision of sharing a cup of joe and a discussion on issues more pressing than whether or not OJ is guilty.

Dear guy in seat 11F from MSP to SJC on February 13, 2009,

You may have studied and practiced law, but your behavior and language are representative of an immature frat boy. Your suit did nothing to make you seem respectable and intelligent.

As I sat next to the lovely couple from Fargo, the woman and I could not help but raise our eyebrows and scoff at your never-ending conversation with your seat neighbor about your apparently exciting life. Airplanes are small, enclosed spaces that we all must share. You do not share well.

Every other word was F**K, we heard about your “bareback” adventures, your drunkin stoopers, your gambling habits, and your expecting wife. We were happy to hear that you try to keep yourself controlled now that you are married.

I am sure the guy next to you appreciated all your advice about his relationship and life. Of course, you are well-qualified to give such advice to complete strangers. I am sure he will take it to heart.

You know, I was extremely annoyed by your use of f-bombs, which is strange. I am not easily offended by language. In fact, I have been known to drop a few strategically placed f-bombs of my own. It took me about 2 hours into my sleepless, loudly interrupted flight to figure it out.

Your volume and complete disregard for passengers around you is what was repulsive. You spoke loudly enough for 3 throws back and forward to hear you. You did not notice if there were children or others who might be sensitive to your choice of words. As a lawyer, I would expect you to have a more robust vocabulary, but then maybe that is why you are getting into sales now.

One thing I did learn from you is that I will always be aware of those around me on an airplane or in a close environment. Other than that, I relished in getting off that plane and away from your loud, obnoxious existence.

Oh, and yes, we all know that you “forgot” to turn your mobile phone off the entire flight. Just another example of your oblivious, self-absorbed approach to life.

My thoughts are with your wife and child on the way.

Once in a while I read a story that reminds me why I help people. I have never rescued someone from a fire and saved their life like William Carroll. To be honest, I’ll probably never be in that situation. If you have not already, please read this story from the Boston Globe and watch the video.

40 Years

These people are a reminder that every decision I make, and every second I give to another person may result in a life-changing experience.

We can’t all be firefighters and spend our lives helping and rescuing people, but we can make a difference in the lives of those around us. By giving a little of your time, or some spare change, or a few extra cans of tuna, you can change the course of someone’s day. Even looking someone in the eye and offering a friendly hello can mean a lot.

Aside from how you can affect those around you, there is no greater joy that giving.